The K Word

A regular rant about my life expectations and other such catastrophes

Monday, February 12, 2007

It's raining, it's pouring...no snoring!

These last couple of weeks have been very busy and stressful with work. All the work I have been doing for the last six months have come to a head and I am running 2 solid weeks worth of workshops. Now these workshops are supposed to give me great opportunities and experience, but they have also highlighted the fear that I have about public speaking - especially in front of more than 6 people at a time.

This has been on my list (43things) for awhile now and I don't really know how to get over it. It's funny because everyones' perception of me is completely different. I must manage to pass myself off as a very confident person or something...but I'm really not! Someone once told me it's because I'm an only child and my parents never encouraged me to take risks! Maybe that is it...but I think it's more of a cop-out than anything!

So what's been happening of late. So I volunteered for Tropfest...that's something exciting that is new. I thought it would be nice to meet some new people and since I show up every year, I figured it would be nice for me to help out for a change! So I went to the introductory meeting last weekend and thought I would see all these uber trendy/artsy people....instead I met people who wanted to make films. Now correct me if i'm wrong...but I was very confused when people were telling me they were 'volunteering because they wanted to make films'. Hmm...explain to me again how manning an information desk, or setting up chairs, or ushering people will assist in the film-making process? Okay so they can 'maybe' bump into some industry big wigs...but I can't imagine those people would be interested in some volunteers!!

There is ONE negative in this whole volunteering-process...this weekend (when Tropfest is on) I am doing volunteer work and cannot attend my workmate T.'s wedding in Brisbane. Is this a cop-out? How comes I feel so guilty?